We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's always time for handjobs
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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