Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
