I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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