Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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