he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
