you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
