Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
