what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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