out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
