Im at strip club and am horny
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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