my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize