she smelled like a LAN party
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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