The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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