His pubic hair was longer than his dick
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize