I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
