After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
