If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
