Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
