you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
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we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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