Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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