i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
