His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
