he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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