im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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