were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
