I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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