after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
