I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
