Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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