I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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