i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
