how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My cat gives me a boner
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
