maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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