Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize