Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Your penis caused this!
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