Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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