it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
