I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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