i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
