You're completely useless in the revolution.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
