Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
