Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
