SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
