Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
