I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
