Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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