Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
