This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
