did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
