I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
