No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
