Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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