So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
