can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
is it fun? or sober?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
