It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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