Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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