i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
