God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize