I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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