dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
