Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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