you traded sex for a burrito?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
