I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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