yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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