When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
