everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
