I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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