I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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