So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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