so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
