every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
