I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
